28. The Science We Didn’t Know

28.  The Science We Didn’t Know

As I mentioned in my last blog… After a ruinous trip to Italy involving miserable digestive distress we arrived home. We proceeded to suffer through worthless over-the-counter “meds” trying to ease our problems. Nothing really worked. I started whining to friends and one steered me to a food/digestive scientist.

I set up a meet with this scientist. He was in some city near Asbury Park, on the Jersey shore.

I asked him to resolve the “problems” using safe ingredients. I even suggested a whole array of web-based nonsense for him to consider. Kind and wise as he was, he said it couldn’t be done. I flew home to Texas thinking that if this was so hard, then perhaps that alone was reason enough to keep searching for success.

Two weeks later this scientist called me up and declared, “I think I can do this. It is a very intriguing challenge.”

Then, I asked, “Did I tell you the ingredients had to be natural, had to work, had to be dissolvable in water.” Quietly, with obvious less enthusiasm he responded, “No, you didn’t mention those requirements when we met.” I thought I could formulate this solution. Now, I’m sure it can’t be done.”

About two weeks later, as in a déjà vu time warp, he called again. And again, he was excited and said, “This is a big challenge but I believe I can solve this riddle.” I was getting excited too.

And then I asked, “And, I did mention the formula had to be Non-GMO, Gluten-free, have no sugar, fats, salt, calories or carbs, right?” This déjà vu just continued. He said, “No, you failed to mention this in our earlier discussions [as if it was my fault].”

And then a month after we met he called me back again. This time he prefaced our discussion with a question, “Is there anything else you could possibly surprise me with?” “No, I said.”

And then he began to ask if I had any idea what would be required to achieve a uniform, homogenous blend of all these ingredients? Or, had I considered the difficulties with the wide range of pH values in all of them; or dispersability concerns (not to be confused with dissolvability)? Or, shelf-life issues; or packaging concerns? Or, had I considered adverse interactions that sometimes occur between various ingredients? To top off this interrogation, he asked if I thought taking 20-30 large capsules daily was the best delivery method?

I thought, “gosh I hate taking so many pills,” but honestly this detail also had slipped my mind.

As pseudo-scientific as I can be on my most creative days, I admitted that I had no ideas about any of these issues.

He said, “Don’t worry, I do.” And we signed a contract to get him working.

You won’t believe what happened next. But that’s another story.

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